Starting from the city of “Decisionville” in the “State of Accountability”, our commuter must make up his mind (Decisionville, get it?) as to which line to take: the “Great Celestial Route” to salvation, the “Way That Seemeth Right” that totally isn’t, or the ominous “Great Destruction Route” leading – predictably – to “The City of Destruction”.

Scenic detours can be had through charmingly named towns like Grumblemore, Lewd Castle, Crap Hollow and Treasondale. Perhaps a day out at Scandal Beach along the shores of the intriguingly shaped Beer Lake? Murder Gorge and Suicide Tunnel are probably best avoided, however.

The copy at the bottom left of the map reads:

“This unique map will make a lasting impression for good on all who study it. The names of states, towns, railroads, lakes, rivers and mountains are all significant. A copy of this map should be in every home, hotel, railroad station, and public place. It makes an interesting study for school children, both in the public and Sunday schools. It will cause many a one to leave the Great Destruction Route and finish his journey on the Great Celestial Route. Price 35 cents.”

Strangely, though, the map seems to indicate that there’s no way back to the Celestial Route from the other lines. Better make the right choice before you leave Decisionville!

Source: Wikimedia Commons